Last weekend was a bit of a difficult one for me, but this one was absolutely fabulous. I recovered from my mood swing later in the week, and set my mind on this weekends activities, which included plenty of time for me to be myself, go out, and just enjoy. I needed this weekend!
The weekends activity started with the monthly CTTGS(Central Texas Transgender Society) luncheon. These luncheons are an opportunity to meet other people from the trans community here in the Austin area. All are welcome, MTF, FTM, CD, gender queer, or just figuring things out. We all meet at a restaurant have lunch, talk, laugh, and just enjoy the company of friends, a make new friends. This groups is pretty important to me, since this was the group through which I first got introduced to the local transgender community, and it was also the first place I appeared in public as my true self(funny story if you want to hear more about that let me know.)
Anyway, at lunch, I met up with Tiana and Karen, and other friends. There was also a nice showing of people from TENT (Transgender Education Network of Texas- formerly TACT), It was nice to see some faces at the luncheon who don’t normally go. After lunch, TENT members took the opportunity to meet and plan for our fundraiser in October, Little Lucifers Luau, which will be held on the 17th of October. If you live in the Austin area, in Texas, or know anyone who days, save the date. This is the first year we will be doing this fundraiser, and we are hoping for it to be an important event here in the Texas every year. All are welcome, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Trans, Queer, an allies. The event will raise money for our filing for out 501(c)(3) non profit status, and sponsor people to attend Creating Change in February. Check back on the TENT site for more information. (I know shameless plug, but I can’t help it, it’s an important event). We still have a lot of work to get ready for the event, but I think this first year will be a learning experience and will help us better prepare and plan for the coming years.
After lunch, Tiana, Karen, and I decided we were going to take a road trip. We all piled into my car, and headed south to San Antonio for a little shopping. I always love hanging out with Karen and Tiana, we have a lot of fun, talk about some important stuff, and just plain enjoy each others company. We headed for the North Star mall in San Antonio, thanks to directions from Karen’s new iPhone. Those are uber cool, wish I had one, but I will have to wait(just signed a new two year contract with my provided who does not have the iPhone). We hit a few stores at the mall, and just enjoyed being out. It still amazes me how it is such a non issue being out in public. I feel more comfortable out as myself than in boy mode. I am less self conscious, and just enjoy it a lot more. Besides, the clothes in the women’s section are so much better than the men’s clothes! Dressing room and bathrooms are just not an issue, I just go and do what I have to do and don’t even think twice about it. It is really a nice feeling, especially being called ma’am and miss.
After doing a little shopping, we headed over to TGI Fridays, not our first choice, but the other places had long lines and we were starving. Dinner was ok, not the best quality TGI’s but we enjoyed each others company and had fun. After dinner we headed to the car, and were approached by a parking lot hustler. Obviously looking to take advantage of three women’s sympathies and kindness. Little did he realize I am completely unsympathetic and mean as hell(not really). He was pulling the old car broke down, wife and kids stranded, need money to get a tow routine. First he was saying something about his phone being broken, and I told him to go in the restaurant and use their phone, and then he went into a ting about I could hold onto his phone and wallet if I lend him some cash and then he would send the cash to me and I could send his stuff back to him. I just cut him off with a statement that we had no cash and we had to go. He tried pretty hard, but these girls were not going to give in to his game.
After that we headed back north to Austin and ‘Bout Time. Here is where we got a couple creepy chaser experiences. First in the lot, this chaser type pulled up near us in his car with his radio turned up, and he was watching us get out of the car. He then circled around when he thought we were going to walk down one side of the lot, but we quickly walked down the other. He then proceeded to pace us as we walked to the bar, continuing with the radio turned up and watching us. We didn’t give him any attention, and I guess he finally drove away. My question is this, what goes through guys minds that makes them think turning up their radio and staring at a girl is going to get the girl to pay them any attention. I really don’t understand guys very much!
We went into the bar and enjoyed a couple of beers, included one round that at guy at the bar bought for us. Seemed like a nice guy, and wasn’t sleazy or hitting on us. We had plans to go over the the Carousel Lounge to listen to a friends band play at midnight. Just as we were getting ready to leave, these two young guys came up to us. One of them did the introduction and asked us if we had been to a club that they had just come from. Non of us had. His friend walked away to go have a smoke or something, and I kind of tuned out the talkative one as he rambled on, realizing we had to leave soon if we were to catch our friends set at the other club. That is when it happened, as we did not really respond to his attempts at conversation, he whipped out his “ice breaker.” At least that is what I think he thought it was, he wanted to break the ice. And how you ask did he do it, the the biggest conversation killer I have heard in a while, “I love shemales!” Just out of the blue he announced this! OMG, I could not believe it. Karen, Tiana, and I just looked at each other as he said a few other things throwing out the shemale word a few more times. He soon realized we were not going to pay him any more attention, and he walked away. We made out exit at that point, heading for the door.
We headed for the Carousel Lounge, which I might add is not in the best part of town. The lot was packed, and we had to park down the dark street away from the club in a kind of sketchy neighborhood. We of course walked together to and from the club. We enjoyed the music there, and then it was time to head home. I was exhausted, but mentally refreshed. I got to spend pretty much the whole day out, just being me, enjoying the company of good friends, and having fun. After last week, I needed this day. I refreshed my spirit in a way that only being me can do. It reminds me of why I am doing this, so that I can live every day being comfortable with who I am and how I live my life.
the biggest conversation killer I have heard in a while, “I love shemales!”
Wow, that’s an understatement! I can barely believe someone would come out and say that. I’m assuming he’d imbibed a large quantity of alcohol over the course of the evening… but still, not an excuse. Good for you for not giving him the attention he obviously wanted from you.
For the guy screaming “shemales”:
What an asshole.
To be fair, there may be a few people under TG umbrella who are receptive to “shemale”, and ‘Bout Time would be a better place than most to find those few people. (I certainly don’t count myself as one of those few.) ‘Bout Time is definitely a mixed bag: I’ve had some really fun times there, but I’ve also run into some some real sleazoid chasers there.
Having been one of the transplants from New Orleans, I have encountered quite a few callous “good ol’ boys” who seem to have nary any manners at all.
That being said, it sounds that any guy should be wary of talking to you and your friends, just like GGs one typically encounters in bars. The impression you have given is that talking to you and your friends is like a verbal minefield, where at any moment the fellow can “step on” the wrong word and…game over.
We really don’t need TS girls to act like the snotty GGs, do we? How about some compassion and forgiveness? I know that many in the T community get jaded from all of the verbal and actual abuse, but when some guy is genuinely trying to be friendly, just what is accomplished by sending a message that TS girls are just like those other “cunts” who have shot the poor guy down before?
I approved the above response for posting, but did so with great hesitation. This blog is intended to be a positive space for positive discussions. That does not mean people cannot disagree with my opinions, in fact, I encourage open debate. What gets me on this post by “Clairese” is the apparent lack of knowledge about trans issues. I will address these in another post.
Hello, I am TG moving to TS and I cant afford to attend anything. Economy and lack of a job as well as a spouse who is not that supportive. I heard of TENTX from a therapist who I also cannot afford to meet with. So I hope perhaps I can establish a virtual connection with your group.
I am very envious of your getting out, and very happy for you as well, one day soon I hope to be so lucky.
After decades of denile and lying to myself I know how refreshing it is to let your true soul shine. Something most lucky genetic unchallenged people truely can’t comprehend.
As for the “parking lot hustler” I discovered a technique that works great. The trick is to be alert and smell them coming which isnt hard after a couple such encounters. What you do is think quick and act quick and ask them for money first. It is amazing how stunned they look, as they shuffle off to find need targets. Try it, worst case you accidently fend off the wrong person and then you can just laugh and not take their money no harm done.
My first gut reaction to “shemales” is how vulgar and I am incensed as well because for the most part it is has been used in my experience in a derrogatory manner much the same as the “N” world. I am both in shock and sad when I hear it which quickly turns to rage. But the next thing I relize is that in truth the poor ignorant (insert choice term), does not know any better. I know that I have seen insensitive boars use that term to slam Lesbians or any women that were not reciprocative regardless of our genetic luck.
It is the last comment of a flailing and failing fool who has embarassed himself usually and tries to cover it up. He was clearly too stupid to know when to quit.
There are some people who are also genuine yet simply don’t know what to say, loud and obnoxious is just their way. I don’t think it is ok, I am just saying I can understand their ignorance, it is too bad such people cannot be rounded up and given a boot camp lecture and instructions on good behavoir. Like a week long session filled with role playing and practice on alternative and more productive social interaction skills.