During lunch yesterday, when we were doing introductions, a few people at the table included their surgical status as part of their introduction. I declined to say anything about mine, in fact I nearly introduced myself saying that my surgical status is not important, but I held back. The subject was brought up by someone else at the lunch, saying that we should avoid identifying ourselves by our surgical status. She made some very valid points, such as the need to overcome the societal view that transition is all about the surgery, and the validity of all surgical statuses, pre, post, and non. What are your thoughts on this topic? I am doing my first poll here on this topic, and I would love to see a discussion on this as well. Let me know what you think.
Surgical Status, Important or Irrelevant?
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Kathryn, having just read your account of “Girl’s weekend out” in SAT I voted “It’s up to the individual” if for no other reason than “what’s between my legs” is certainly not “irrelevant” having been thinking a lot lately of what happened to Angie Zapata. Yes, in terms of a informal luncheon I’d have to say “it’s nobody’s business” but in terms of the three of you going out for a night in a strange town “safety in numbers” is correct & great but may not always be the case!
Texas hey? Your a braver girl than I! K
Since it was checkboxes, I voted for both “My surgical status…” and “It’s up to the individual…”. Personally, I only reveal my surgical status to those need to know. I also support the right of individuals to identify how they please.
That being said, as somebody who feels that an individual’s genitals should not determine their gender, I’m disappointed when members of our community identify with their surgical status.
I find it extremely rude when people I meet ask me about my surgical status and/or hormone treatment. This is really none of their business. It usually comes across sounding like a contest to them, which transition definitely is not! In addition, these things are very personal in nature. If I want to share them, I should be able to (when the situation warrants such a confession), but otherwise, bugger off.
Having said that, I have a small core group of friends that have stood by me since before I started transitioning, and would be offended if I made progress in my transition without informing them. We have no secrets amongst us, and that feels very natural.
It’s a personal matter belonging only to those I might wish to inform.
I have a major problem with TSes who 1) wish to always remain TS and 2) who think my body is their business. With other people I certainly have a major problem with them thinking my body is their business.
Good for you, Kathryn! And I thought that I was the only TS girl that didn’t like being classified by their plumbing or toys. Yes, some rich TS girls brag about their neovagina the same way that some guys brag about the size of their sports car’s engine or the speed and memory of their computer, or whatever toys they are into. I have bluntly told folks that my plumbing is between me, my doctors, and my lovers. Even some of those people may not have a need to know. When I go to a doctor for a foot fracture or upper respiratory infection, they are not treating my genitals, so they know better than to ask. Some of the girls and boys that I date have not yet become intimate enough with me to connect down there. Others share all of my delights and found out what I’ve got when it came time to take my clothes off. I do not allow my plumbing to define me or the nature of my loving relations any more than I would allow myself to be judged by my blood type or skin pigment.
I think you hit the nail on the head… everywhere you hear talk of TG/YS, the burning question is did you or when will you have surgery. I strongly agree with the opinion that being TG or TS has nothing to do with what’s between your legs – after all, we’ve been TG forever (or I guess I have), and I still have my original gear. Granted I have not fully transitioned – I’m working on that – however I am in no way certain that when/if I do, I would opt for SRS…. FFS, breast aug, couple other things perhaps…. But, in the end, it definitely is a personal choice and we should not be judged by any community based on our surgical preference.
I debated whether or not to approve this comment. I disagree entirely with its assumptions, and its assertions. On the other hand, I support the right of people to assert their opinions even if I believe they are wrong or misguided. I am also concerned because this person made up an e-mail address, the sign of a person who is unwilling to discuss and issue. I am posting this with some hesitation, and reserve the right to change my mind later!- Kathryn
The current surgical techniques are barbarous! Even the pictures that these butchers who pretend to be “surgeons” are willing to claim look horrific, and by the accounts of TS folks I have discussed the matter, with wholly unsatisfactory.
There will soon be a time where we can stimulate your body to grow the genitalia of your choice. Both surgeons and patients will look back on these days of butchery with great regret.
The TS folks who retain their original genital configuration for now, are not just being cautious, most who have studied the transgender surgery issues will agree that foregoing the surgery at this time is the prudent thing to do.