Friends

Today marked a special day for me. It was six months ago today that I first met two very important friends of mine, Tiana and Karen. I met these two wonderful women just a few short weeks after I came out to my wife. I had reached out to a local trans group, and I was put in touch in Karen and Tiana. We made arrangements to meet over lunch.

This was a very emotional time for me. I had recently come out to my spouse, and this was the first time I was dealing with my gender identity issues head on. I nervously met Karen and Tiana, in some respects unsure of myself, in other respects just wondering if I was really ready to be taking steps down the path to transition. I knew that in order to make this journey, I needed friends, I needed people who were making the same journey. I knew that from such friends, I could find understanding, support, and advice. 

I found all that in these two very special women. Over lunch, I shared my story and some of my worries. They reassured me that I was not alone, and they helped me to finally feel that I was not alone. Despite the fact that I was sick with a bad cold, I left that lunch feeling so much relief and so much hope. Too bad I ended up with bronchitis shortly there after! I had been working six day weeks for a while with little or no rest during a the stressful first weeks of coming out to myself and beginning my journey of self discover, so I think everything just got to me and my body said,”Ok enough! Give me a rest so I can process all of this!.”

Anyway, over the next few weeks and months, I found that Karen and Tiana were true friends. The encouraged me when I was unsure, and they accompanied me on my first night on the town. They helped me find my courage to proceed full steam ahead into my transition. I admire them and their journeys, and I am so grateful that they are a part of my journey.

This week, Tiana had called me to see about getting together for lunch. We do this every few weeks, and it is something I look forward to. Plans don’t always work out when work gets in the way. This week, we talked about meeting earlier in the week. I would have to juggle a few things around, by we set a time and a day. Tiana called Karen to invite her. Apparently wheels started turning for Karen, and I got a call later in the day from Tiana asking if Friday would work instead of Wednesday. I said sure, in fact, Friday would work better. Little did I know, Karen realized that it was just about six months since we all met. She looked up her receipt from that first lunch, and confirmed that Friday would be exactly six months. She and Tiana conspired to change the lunch date to match that six month anniversary, and picked the same location as that first lunch.

In the back of my mind, I think I was thinking the same thing. I realized that the restaurant was the same that we first had lunch at, and that I had not been there since that first meeting. I couldn’t remember the exact date, but I knew it was close to six months or so since we had all met. It seemed like just yesterday, and yet it feels like I have come so far in my journey since then.

As we sat down to lunch, Karen and Tiana announced their reason for the date and the location. I was so surprised that they remembered. I was left essentially speechless, about to cry if I said a word. They gave me a card in recognition of our friendship. There was so much I wanted to say, but could not for the fact that I would have just started crying. Hormones certainly do things to emotions! 

I am so appreciative of them, I am sure that they will read this. Thank you Tiana and Karen, you two are true friends! For those of you who may just be starting on your journey of transition, reach out to the community. There are so many wonderful girls out there willing to share their stories, lend their support, and be friends. There is this kind of unofficial big sister thing that happens in this community. It is amazing. It helped me build the courage that I needed to take those first tentative steps in my transition. If it was not for their support and friendship, I might have taken a little longer to get started moving forward. 

Today, I move forward confidently, finding a new found joy for life as I become the women that I have always been on the inside. I find friendships to be more important, and the connections to be on a whole different level than those I have experienced before. I think part of this is because I can finally share who I really am, and be who I am. There is no need to go down this road alone, there is no reason to feel isolated, you are not alone. There are so many of us, so many willing to reach out a hand, give support, give encouragement, and just be friends. 

To all the other wonderful women I have met since then, thank you to all of you as well. You all have stories that inspire me and encourage me. I have so much admiration for all of you, and feel so privileged to have gotten to know or to be beginning to know all of you. I know, for the first time in my life, that I am not alone, that I am in the company of so many amazing people taking so many amazing journeys, displaying amazing courage, and just plain being amazing friends. Thank you!