Day of Remebrance

November 20th is fast approaching. For anyone who does not know, November 20th is the day when we recognize Transgender Day of Remembrance(DOR). This is a time for us to look back on the last year, and remember those who were violently taken from us for no other reason than being gender non-conforming. This is the first DOR that I will be taking part in, in fact, prior to my starting the coming out process, I had not even heard of DOR prior to March of this year. If I had know about it before, would I have attended? Probably not, mostly for fear of being outed, fear of people figuring out my deep dark secret. 

It is only now, now that I have finally come to terms with the incongruity between my body and my soul that I can finally be free to pay my respects to those whose lives were cut so terribly short. Transition has, in fact, freed me to do so many other things. Namely of course to be me. Though I still have some time before I go full time, the fact that I finally have space is so much better than having non at all. I still face the dislike for having to spend part of my days in “boy mode.” Not really a big fan of that term anymore, not sure what it is about it, I think because that assumes that I spend part of my time in “girl mode,” which makes my time as Kathryn seem like something constructed or made up, like it is something that I put on. It’s interesting how I start to contemplate those terms and euphemisms that are so prevalent in the community. There are so many out there, some that are accepted, some that are not. The degree to which terms are accepted also varies from person to person, or from region to region.  Take for example, crossdresser and transvestite. There are two terms used to describe people who identify and live as one gender, but enjoy spending some time dressed as the opposite gender. In the United States, transvestite has fallen out of favor, but in Britain it is still acceptable. It’s almost like we have out own transgender language with regional dialects.

Anyway, I think I am getting way off topic here. Back to DOR for a moment. If you haven’t looked for your local event, I highly encourage you to do so. One place you can go it this years DOR website at:http://www.transgenderdor.org/. If you area is not listed, but there is an event going on let Ethan know so he can get the event up on the site. There have been a lot of additions to the events list the last few weeks. This is a good time for those of us who are trans to stand up against violence against our community. If you are a trans ally, this is a good time to stand up and let people know that you support the trans community. 

As we all know, there has been a lot going on politically the last week or so. I wasn’t sure how much I was going to get into politics here, but I guess there are a few important things to say. We saw a major shift in this last election, and opportunity to fix some of what is broken. The one thing that I caution people in is expecting an over night fix from President-Elect Obama. It took Bush a few years to mess things up, and it will take a few years to get things back in order. There are a lot of expectations placed on this man, and I think he is the kind of leader we need to make some significant changes. I know that many people in the LGBT community in general are hoping that the gains made in congress might renew the promise of an inclusive ENDA. I too hope for that, but we also need to realize that those who dropped us from ENDA are still in office. We need to keep on them. Obama said he would sign an inclusive ENDA, so make sure you are lobbying your representatives for such. I have not participated in a lobby day before, but I am seriously considering it.  NCTE will be hosting its annual lobby day April 26th through the 28th. Like I said, I have never done this before, but I will probably be there. Besides that it is right around the time I plan on going full time, so what better time to get out there and be more visibly active!

Now a few words about prop 8, or H8 as some are calling it. I’m not going to sit here and try and dissect what when wrong, but if I ran that campaign I would have…… Just kidding I said I wouldn’t and I won’t. I am however very disappointed in the results. Vicki Kolakowski did a recent interview on Trans-Ponder in which she mentioned how some in the trans community did not feel that prop H8 applies to them. Right now, for many of them they may be right. The members of our community who are straight identified and post-op, this may not apply to them fully. Vicky explains, however that it may still affect all of us. If you are in a legally heterosexual marriage, and go through divorce or one of you passes away, your gender may be challenged. If so, the court may decide that you are not in a prop 8 marriage, and eliminate property rights or other privileges of marriage. There are still times and places where someone could try and use your trans status to reduce or void your marriage. This is not just an LGB issue, this can affect all of us. That is all I will say on the topic. 

Ok, enough politics. I’m getting too tired now. One last, and very important thing, a friend of mine has had a very difficult time with coming out to her family. Please stop by her blog on Yahoo360 and show her some support. I think she really needs some words of support and encouragement right now.