Comments for Kathryn's Journey http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com Discovering Life After Transition and Finally Living It! Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:40:25 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Appointments, DOR, and visibility by Karen http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/appointments-dor-and-visibility/#comment-390 Karen Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:40:25 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=228#comment-390 Wow--visibility. There's definitely no one right answer, even for a given person. Over a year ago, I started attending a new church. For a long time, I didn't come out as trans. The feeling of just being a woman was wonderful. I didn't have to be ever ready to educate folks. I didn't have to second-guess any compliments I got on my looks. I wasn't told how "brave" I was, inevitably making me go into a longish explanation of how it really was just a matter of survival. I eventually did come out as trans. The people in my church are a big part of my life, so it really made sense to let them know about this part of me. As a result, I've had the support of the people in my church during my SRS, the subsequent recovery, and the continuing process of realizing myself. Being out means making yourself open and vulnerable and, as a result, you can receive love and support. But word gets around and eventually somebody who isn't loving and supportive will know that you are trans. Your life becomes, to some degree, more dangerous. I think of being out as the first, best advocacy that anyone can do. But I also think it's a deeply personal decision that one makes, a difficult decision that can change over time and vary according to the circumstances. Wow–visibility. There’s definitely no one right answer, even for a given person.

Over a year ago, I started attending a new church. For a long time, I didn’t come out as trans. The feeling of just being a woman was wonderful. I didn’t have to be ever ready to educate folks. I didn’t have to second-guess any compliments I got on my looks. I wasn’t told how “brave” I was, inevitably making me go into a longish explanation of how it really was just a matter of survival.

I eventually did come out as trans. The people in my church are a big part of my life, so it really made sense to let them know about this part of me. As a result, I’ve had the support of the people in my church during my SRS, the subsequent recovery, and the continuing process of realizing myself.

Being out means making yourself open and vulnerable and, as a result, you can receive love and support. But word gets around and eventually somebody who isn’t loving and supportive will know that you are trans. Your life becomes, to some degree, more dangerous.

I think of being out as the first, best advocacy that anyone can do. But I also think it’s a deeply personal decision that one makes, a difficult decision that can change over time and vary according to the circumstances.

]]> Comment on Where does time go? by Karen Collett http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/11/04/where-does-time-go/#comment-389 Karen Collett Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:37:10 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=223#comment-389 I know what you mean about shifting priorities. As you get parts of your transition behind you, you have more time for all the other non-trans parts of your life. Instead of being a trans woman, you start being a woman that, while still being trans, is also a whole bunch of other things (that in many cases are more important than being trans). I spend most of my social life outside of work in queer spaces, not because I'm trans but because I'm a lesbian. I'm out as trans to my friends and colleagues because I think that is the first, best advocacy that anyone can do, but for me trans is more a characteristic rather than a part of my identity. Of course, all this can change. But transition is all about change, changing yourself so that you can really be yourself. It's a wonderful thing, actually. I know what you mean about shifting priorities. As you get parts of your transition behind you, you have more time for all the other non-trans parts of your life. Instead of being a trans woman, you start being a woman that, while still being trans, is also a whole bunch of other things (that in many cases are more important than being trans).

I spend most of my social life outside of work in queer spaces, not because I’m trans but because I’m a lesbian. I’m out as trans to my friends and colleagues because I think that is the first, best advocacy that anyone can do, but for me trans is more a characteristic rather than a part of my identity.

Of course, all this can change. But transition is all about change, changing yourself so that you can really be yourself. It’s a wonderful thing, actually.

]]> Comment on Where have I been? by Gillian http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/07/15/where-have-i-been/#comment-384 Gillian Fri, 17 Jul 2009 02:36:36 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=220#comment-384 A thing to keep in mind: Every trans woman is a trail blazer for those who follow. Because of that, what might seem mundane details to you are bits of vital information for others. Now that you are living authentically, much of what was magic for you a few years ago is now simply part of your everyday existence. There will probably come a time when keeping a trans-oriented blog will be totally redundant. How you got there will no longer be important in your life. To change metaphors, you'll leave the boat on the shore and walk inland. Or you may choose to continue to be a guide. A couple of personal notes: I'm not on your path, but I honor yours and hold you in great esteem. Your positivity and good sense make your postings a joy to read. But it's not just you. Bless your family for supporting you and accepting you. The very fact that your mother comments on this blog fills me with warmth. I think the world is just one little bit better for the presence of all of you. A thing to keep in mind: Every trans woman is a trail blazer for those who follow. Because of that, what might seem mundane details to you are bits of vital information for others. Now that you are living authentically, much of what was magic for you a few years ago is now simply part of your everyday existence. There will probably come a time when keeping a trans-oriented blog will be totally redundant. How you got there will no longer be important in your life. To change metaphors, you’ll leave the boat on the shore and walk inland. Or you may choose to continue to be a guide.

A couple of personal notes:

I’m not on your path, but I honor yours and hold you in great esteem. Your positivity and good sense make your postings a joy to read. But it’s not just you. Bless your family for supporting you and accepting you. The very fact that your mother comments on this blog fills me with warmth. I think the world is just one little bit better for the presence of all of you.

]]> Comment on Where have I been? by Mom http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/07/15/where-have-i-been/#comment-382 Mom Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:01:31 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=220#comment-382 Shouldn't surgeons accept an "assignment of benefits" authorization? If they're concerned that insurance may not cover, I would think that a letter from the insurer stating that benefits do exist and one's signature assigning benefit payment directly to the provider would suffice. This would eliminate the need for the patient to pay up-front and wait for direct reimbursement. Why should GRS surgeons operate (pardon the unintentional pun!) any differently than others? I always assign benefits to my provider and then pay any outstanding balance after the insurance company has paid their share and determined my share. It appears that to require up-front payment for GRS verges on discrimination! Just my thoughts, Mom Shouldn’t surgeons accept an “assignment of benefits” authorization? If they’re concerned that insurance may not cover, I would think that a letter from the insurer stating that benefits do exist and one’s signature assigning benefit payment directly to the provider would suffice. This would eliminate the need for the patient to pay up-front and wait for direct reimbursement.

Why should GRS surgeons operate (pardon the unintentional pun!) any differently than others? I always assign benefits to my provider and then pay any outstanding balance after the insurance company has paid their share and determined my share.

It appears that to require up-front payment for GRS verges on discrimination!

Just my thoughts,

Mom

]]> Comment on Getting ready for SF Pride by Mom http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/06/25/getting-ready-for-sf-pride/#comment-381 Mom Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:03:59 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=218#comment-381 Kathryn, We had a blast yesterday! It was so wonderful to be able to walk with you, my daughter, and PFLAG and show the world how proud I am of you! Your VERY Proud Mom Kathryn,

We had a blast yesterday! It was so wonderful to be able to walk with you, my daughter, and PFLAG and show the world how proud I am of you!

Your VERY Proud Mom

]]> Comment on Sometimes life does get a little boring, or not by Tiana http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/05/06/sometimes-life-does-get-a-little-boring-or-not/#comment-363 Tiana Fri, 08 May 2009 05:12:22 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=210#comment-363 It is interesting that I just read another person's blog that talked about life after transition and how things have settled down and is becoming "normal". I think the key is the discomfort of not being ourselves. Once we are more comfortable from within, we an enjoy what externally the world has to offer. Definitely eye-opening and freeing. So yes, enjoy life and just be YOU! Hope to see you on Saturday. Hugs, Tiana :) It is interesting that I just read another person’s blog that talked about life after transition and how things have settled down and is becoming “normal”. I think the key is the discomfort of not being ourselves. Once we are more comfortable from within, we an enjoy what externally the world has to offer. Definitely eye-opening and freeing.

So yes, enjoy life and just be YOU!

Hope to see you on Saturday.

Hugs, Tiana :)

]]> Comment on Just antagonizing the Bigot by Gwen http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/just-antagonizing-the-bigot/#comment-344 Gwen Fri, 01 May 2009 03:35:38 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=207#comment-344 Great job of handling this misguided person Kathryn! He might even learn something if he's not careful. =) Hugs! Gwen Great job of handling this misguided person Kathryn! He might even learn something if he’s not careful. =)

Hugs!

Gwen

]]> Comment on Uneventful Awesome Day by Lori D http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/04/28/uneventful-awesome-day/#comment-331 Lori D Wed, 29 Apr 2009 04:23:50 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=195#comment-331 Awesome is the word! I knew you'd be fine! Awesome is the word! I knew you’d be fine!

]]> Comment on Uneventful Awesome Day by Véronique http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/04/28/uneventful-awesome-day/#comment-328 Véronique Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:44:43 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=195#comment-328 Congratulations on your uneventful awesome day! Congratulations on your uneventful awesome day!

]]> Comment on Uneventful Awesome Day by Jill Davidson http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/2009/04/28/uneventful-awesome-day/#comment-322 Jill Davidson Tue, 28 Apr 2009 05:38:00 +0000 http://kathrynsjourney.wordpress.com/?p=195#comment-322 Wow - it's nice to hear how good a first day can be - this is inspirational! Wow – it’s nice to hear how good a first day can be – this is inspirational!

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