Community is a word that is thrown around amongst people going through transition. As we begin meeting other transgender people, we begin to hear about the transgender community, and even the lgbt community. For many of us, a sense of community has eluded us for much of our lives. We may have been born into a community based on ethnic, religious, professional, or economic ties, but for many of us we may not have found a true sense of belonging in these communities. While we may have felt the same ties that drew our parents or friends into these communities, we were still left with a feeling that we were different. Some of us may have known that our difference was in our gender identity and our physical self, while others just knew that we were different. This difference, and usually the fear to express that difference often keeps us from fully sharing ourselves with these communities.
When we joint the transgender community, we are suddenly welcomed into a community the encourages us to be open, embraces what we once hid from, and encourages us to become the man or woman that we have always known ourselves to be. Suddenly we find a community in which we feel that we can finally be free to be ourselves and be comfortable because we do not have to hid anything from the other members of this community. In essence, we are finally free to fully participate with and in a community. For some transgender people, this marks a period in their lives when they begin to thrive socially. A once socially awkward person can find in a community of acceptance, they are finally able to free themselves of the hang-ups and fears that previously paralyzed them in social settings. Being honest with themselves, and being able to be honest with other brings about a change that can only be brought forth by a supportive and understanding community. It is this support and understanding that makes the transgender community such a wonderful community to be a part of.
The concept of community came to me while I was watching and interview with Betty Crow and Helen Boyd(author of “She’s not the Man I Married“). This was and interview with Gordene MacKenzie posted on Gender Vision. In that interview, they discuss how the old model of transitioning included the requirement by many therapists that, if married, a transsexual divorce prior to surgery. Many also advocated the idea of moving away from friends and family and starting a new life. In the process, families and communities were split up. In a recent episode of Talking Tranny, Susan Moses describes a friend who cut all ties to the trans community once she had undergone GRS. At the time that such actions were suggested and even mandated in order to obtain surgery, building a cohesive transgender community must have been quite difficult. Those women who had been through the entire transition process disappeared soon after surgery, leaving those just beginning their transition without the benefits of the knowledge and shared experiences of a strong and lasting community. While the reasons for advocating such moves post transition may be many, I think that Julia Serano presents some sound thoughts and opinions in her book “Whipping Girl.”
Fortunately, for us, today the transgender community is growing not only in numbers but also in its strength and recognition. The importance of the transgender community I think is underscored by not only the recent opinion put forward by the AMA, but also by the recent hearings held by in Congress. As out community grows and comes into its own, we are left with the hefty responsibility of defining the community and how it interacts with society in general. I think part of this process includes reconsidering that attitudes of old that left us severing ties with our past in order to build a new future. Often times, such ties include cisgender people who are supportive of our decision. As we move forward in our battle for equal rights and equal opportunity, having cisgender allies becomes extremely important, not only for our fight but also for our community. If our community is made up only of people who identify as transgender, then I think that we are doing ourselves a disservice. I think it is important that we be an open community that welcomes and makes space for not only those who identify as transgender, but also those who who are friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances of transgender people. People who accept us for who we are, and see that we are just as deserving of rights as cisgendered people. Such inclusiveness brings an added dimension to our community, and enlists added support for our cause. It also creates an even more diverse community. I think Betty Crow put it quite well when she said,”Communities are healthy when they are diverse.” This is a concept that is seen in nature, and is equally as relevant and important in human communities. One only need to look at the success of organizations such as PFLAG. PFLAG was founded to bring together members of the gay and lesbian community with members of the straight community. It exists as a support network for families coping with coming out issues, and in the process has created an added dimension to the LGBT community by integrating allies of the community into an organization that furthers the causes faced by the LGBT community. Such diversity serves to strengthen the community and ensure that it is not just the members of the community fighting for their right, but that there are members of “other” communities fighting for LGBT rights as well. The more voices standing up for right, the more likely it is that we will be heard, and that we will see progress.
What the concept of community comes down to for me is the idea that we have created our own community. We have forged a transgender community out of a society that once completely rejected us and had not place for us in their communities. Today, as we continue to build and strengthen our community it is time to show the world that rejected us that we do have room for them in our community. We welcome supporters from the cisgender communities. All we ask is that they stand with us, side by side, as we fight for the rights that they take for granted everyday, that they demand that we be afforded the same rights given freely to others, and that we not be judged by our gender presentation, but by our character and our unique abilities.
